Parents today spend more time with their children than ever before. Yet, at the same time, they worry more than previous generations about doing enough – believing a lack of engagement may harm their child’s future success and wellbeing.

This can have negative impacts. Increased social pressures on mothers to be engaged with their children, compared to fathers, is negatively affecting maternal wellbeing. The COVID-19 pandemic and home schooling intensified this.

This raises an important question: how much attention is enough? Is it harmful to leave your child to their own devices? Should you ever ignore a child? Or conversely, can you overly engage with your child? As is usually the case with child development, the answer is somewhere in the middle (and most parents, reassuringly, are doing “enough”).

We know that a supportive parenting approach is important for child development. Attachment theory states that when a baby has its needs met by a parent or primary caregiver in an appropriate and consistent way, they are more likely to go on to develop a secure attachment that person.

This helps them to feel more confident in themselves and the world, leading to more positive cognitive, social and emotional development. However, while secure attachment is important, ever rising levels of attention won’t necessarily increase it proportionally. Instead, it is important to carefully consider the degree of engagement and balance this with supporting children to reach appropriate stages of resilience and independence.

One piece of evidence which gets dragged up a lot when attachment is discussed is research on the outcomes of children placed in Romanian orphanages. These children were typically significantly deprived of interaction, affection and care and did not have opportunity to develop a secure attachment. Studies of their later development found that they had poorer physical, cognitive and social developmental outcomes.

These studies are important, but a world away from the spectrum of parental engagement that most parents worry about today.

Research examining more typical parent-child relationships finds that, yes, when mothers and fathers are more connected to and involved with their children, social and emotional outcomes improve.

Talking and reading to children in their early years is particularly important for language and literacy skills. Listening to, and supporting, children to understand and learn to regulate their own emotions is also important for later emotional and social wellbeing.

Source: The Conversation

https://theconversation.com/can-parents-give-their-children-too-much-attention-207972